


New Places, New Possibilities

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Drinking, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Virgin Louis, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 00:24:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4982677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has always longed for Louis from afar, never sure exactly what Louis wanted, or if they could even have what they wanted. Even though Louis would sneak into Harry's bed every chance he could, they'd never gone further than cuddles and innocent kisses. But when the boys are finally away from home on their first visit to LA, things finally begin to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Places, New Possibilities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Clamat_Submissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clamat_Submissa/gifts).



Harry had been trying to fall asleep for about an hour now. He couldn’t help thinking how there were several reasons why he shouldn’t have such insomnia. It was dark and quiet in the room. He was comfortable; the bed was large and plush. They had begun, already, to get used to the luxury that money could buy. He opened his eyes in the darkness.

Something was missing. Something that had become wonderfully familiar. It annoyed him that he had trouble falling asleep without it, but he craved it nonetheless. He threw out his arms and legs, kicking the blankets down his body and letting out a grumpy huff.

It was quieter outside than he had expected, when he used to daydream about what this city was like. He closed his eyes once again and curled onto his side. It shouldn’t be long now.

It was not a surprise to Harry when he felt the mattress dip on the other side of the bed another moment later. Next thing he knew, the bedcovers were pulled back and he felt the warmth of his best friend, sliding into bed next to him. Louis slowly, tentatively pressed his body up behind Harry’s, spooning him. Harry couldn’t help but smile.

Louis quickly pulled the covers back over the two of them, and then curled his arms up into himself, pressed against Harry’s naked back. Harry heard Louis sigh deeply, felt the warmth of his friend’s breath on the back of his neck. He smiled to himself. It had become a routine, and he knew he would sleep much better now.

Harry pulled away from Louis and turned his body around on the mattress, facing the other boy. He wrapped an arm around Louis’ waist, one large hand splaying across Louis’ back, and pulled their bodies close. Louis did not speak, just moved a bit here and there to get comfortable against his friend’s body.

There was silence for a moment; Harry listened to their breaths. He moved his legs towards Louis’, tangling their feet.

“Everything alright?” Harry whispered, leaning forward the last few inches to ghost his lips across Louis’ forehead. He would ask it a thousand times, and more, if he had to. Anything to keep this boy in his arms, to hold the space as it was, to understand.

Louis simply nodded. So Harry closed his eyes and tilted his head so the two boys’ foreheads were touching.

It was not uncommon for Louis to end up in Harry’s bed. No matter where in the world the boys were, Louis and Harry almost always requested a hotel room together.

It had been so innocent in the beginning. The first time it had happened, Louis had been drunk. He’d crept over to Harry’s bed and climbed in. Harry hadn’t hesitated a moment before curling into Louis, the two of them wrapping their arms around one another. It had felt so comfortable and so right.

Before long, the late night cuddles began to bleed into daytime, and Harry couldn’t be bothered to hide his feelings. He hadn’t really tried. As far as he figured, when Louis was around, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face anyway, so why bother pretending.

Everyone knew how in love Harry was. And they should; Harry had always been a hopeless romantic, and the first time he set eyes on Louis, he swore it was love at first sight. Not that Harry had ever openly used the word ‘love’. But everybody knew regardless. He couldn’t keep his eyes off Louis all through X Factor Bootcamp, and he could still feel his heart beat faster every time Louis was around.

Harry had always made a special effort to spend time with him, and most of the time he found he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. But Louis never seemed to mind. They began to be teased on a regular basis about their closeness, even the fans had picked up on it so quickly. But still Harry didn’t care. All he wanted was Louis, and he was pretty sure Louis knew it too.

Even if the affection was sometimes one-sided, Harry did not care. It was like he knew if he wasn’t open with his feelings, Louis could never be. Which was why Harry felt his heart begin to race the first time Louis had crawled into bed with him. What did this mean? Did Louis have feelings for him too? What did Louis want to do? Did he just want company, someone to talk to, or did he want something more? Harry had wrapped his arms around Louis that night and pulled him close. He had dared to press his lips to Louis’ temple. He could feel Louis trembling.

“It’s okay,” Harry had said. He hadn’t known what he’d meant, but there didn’t seem to be anything else to say.

It hadn’t gone further than that, even when they were alone together. It never had. Harry would hold Louis and whisper to him and sometimes he would even dare to kiss Louis’ cheek or his forehead or his nose. But that was it. Louis never asked for more or pressed himself against Harry or whispered his name. He would simply fall asleep in Harry’s arms. In the beginning, Harry would wake to a cold bed, and Louis would be in the shower or gone from the room entirely. They didn’t talk about it for that reason. Harry knew Louis wouldn’t talk about it. But still Harry’s heart would race every time Louis crawled into bed with him, his mind stirring with possibility.

Over time, Harry had convinced himself that Louis was just cold or lonely, or just wanted someone to hold him. He would put his own feelings on hold and just be there for Louis. He had learned to. It was simpler that way. Harry figured as long as he was with Louis and able to hold him at night, nothing else mattered. He would settle for just this small piece of Louis. He had to.

“You’re warm,” Louis finally spoke into the darkness. He was so close Harry could feel Louis’ breath on his cheek. “And I was cold.” Harry smiled and pulled Louis closer. They shared the same pillow, and Harry knew all he needed to do was simply lean his face just another few centimeters forward and their lips would meet.

“Mmm,” Harry hummed. He wanted so badly to kiss Louis. It would be so easy. He tilted his head up instead, and delivered a soft peck on Louis’ forehead. “I’m warm too now,” he replied. His hand pressed against Louis’ back. He wanted to slip it under Louis’ shirt.

Louis breathed deeply and let it out, the breath hitting Harry’s chin and neck, raising goose bumps on his skin. Harry was still, not daring himself to move closer, but wanting so much.

After a few moments, Louis sighed again and moved a few inches down the mattress so he could rest his head against Harry’s chest. Harry curled against Louis, exhaled a deep breath, and closed his eyes. He was not sure what they were waiting for, but he knew he couldn’t push too much. They had time, he knew.

 

~*~

 

The laughter in the room was infectious. It also helped that pretty much everyone had at least two drinks in them. Harry was mildly tipsy, and he grinned widely, though he wasn’t sure what he was smiling at. He knew he had a good buzz on, and if he stopped drinking now, he’d still be sober enough to care for Louis if Louis decided to have too much. Harry walked across the kitchen and looked out the window above the kitchen sink. Palm trees lined the yard of the house they were in, and a tiny in-ground swimming pool glistened in the sunlight. They were in an older suburban neighborhood, the small bungalow-style houses packed together on a poorly paved road that sloped downwards to the West.

It was the house of one of their songwriters. The boys were in Los Angeles, and for all of them it was their first visit to the States. Harry was already obsessed with the city. He promised himself, whether they became famous or not, that he would find a way to come back to this city one day, and maybe even live here if he could.

He pictured moving into a tiny flat in Malibu, the front yard more sand and dirt than grass. He would have almost no furniture because he would have spent all his savings to rent the house and fly across the world from London. But he would make do with his twin mattress on the floor of the only bedroom in the house, eating ramen noodles and just happy to be alive and be here, in this wonderful city.

He felt different here, more free. He was thousands of miles from anything of comfort. It was like a whole other planet, and Harry liked that. For the first time in his life, he felt the desire to make his own life, away from his mum and the rest of his family. It was such a new feeling, but he knew he was certain of it.

Harry wondered if he would be alone in creating that life, or if he would have someone by his side. He knew who he wanted. He had already pictured it, built it all up in his mind. It would be perfect, just the two of them, young and happy and free.

Harry was pulled from his thoughts by a shriek of laughter from the living room. Harry couldn’t help but giggle. It was Louis’ laugh, of course, one of Harry’s favorite sounds in the world. Harry set down his beer bottle; it didn’t taste good anyway, and made his way into the living room towards the sound of Louis’ laughter. He could tell just from his laugh that he was tipsy. Harry smiled. He knew that a drunk Louis now meant a needy Louis later tonight. A Louis that wanted to be taken care of.

He found Louis sprawled out on the couch, Liam practically on top of him, relentlessly tickling him. They seemed to both be caught up in the moment, and Harry couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy, seeing Liam’s hands all over Louis. But then Louis’ head turned and he spotted Harry.

“Harry, help me!” Louis shrieked, laughing as he tried to push Liam off of him. Harry rolled his eyes and scoffed in pretend-annoyance, but the smile on his face betrayed him. Everyone knew he was faking it anyway. They all knew Harry was always happy to have even the tiniest bit of attention from Louis.

Louis wasn’t struggling very hard anymore, having been distracted by Harry’s appearance, so Liam climbed off after another moment, crying “I won!”, which Louis wasn’t happy about. His face turned into the cutest pout, and Harry couldn’t resist any longer. He walked quickly to the couch and grasped Louis’ hands, pulling him upright into a seated position. Liam got up off the couch and sauntered away across the room towards the drink table.

“I guess we’ll just have to hit the gym, build you up some muscles so you can beat Liam next time,” Harry spoke as he plopped himself down next to Louis. There was no one else on the couch at that moment, and Harry reveled in the moment alone. Up close, he could see the redness of Louis’ eyes and the flush on his cheeks.

“I hate the gym,” Louis replied tersely, slurring his words as he looked around for the beer he had abandoned. Harry leaned down to the floor and picked up Louis’ bottle from right next to his foot.

“How many have you had?” Harry asked him softly, a little concerned but not wanting to sound like a mom.

“Let’s play spin the bottle!” Niall’s voice rang through the house, offering a distraction for Louis so he wouldn’t have to answer Harry’s question.

A bunch of people murmured their consent as Niall downed the last of his beer to use as the bottle. Harry made an annoyed expression. He just wanted to talk with Louis.

“Niall, there’s a ton of empty bottles-” Liam began.

“Shut up, we’re playing!” Niall demanded as he shoved his way onto the couch with Harry and Louis. Slowly people began to make a small circle around the bottle Niall had placed on the floor. The group was not evenly split; there were ten boys and only five girls, but nobody seemed to care. Harry rolled his eyes for real this time. He had been perfectly happy chatting with Louis. He didn’t even remember the names of some of these people, the one’s the others had invited, but he decided he didn’t care. Hopefully he could get through it quickly, and maybe he would even be lucky enough to land on Louis.

“Alright, let’s establish the rules!” Liam shouted over everyone’s voices.

“There aren’t any rules in spin the bottle,” John, one of their songwriters replied, and everyone laughed, making Liam blush. There was a significant age gap between Harry, the youngest, and their songwriters who were in their late twenties and early thirties. But everyone was so buzzed that nobody seemed to care.

Everyone was chatting loudly, debating if there should be rules or not. Louis was quiet. Harry figured Louis was as uninterested in the game as himself, so he turned to him and grinned and raised his eyebrows, hoping to communicate his understanding.

The game began. Niall went first, at his own insistence, and ended up landing on Liam, which sparked another debate about whether you _had_ to kiss the person you landed on, no matter male or female, or if you could spin again. Niall spun again without listening to anyone else, and ended up kissing one of the girls who had arrived with Zayn’s girlfriend. Harry couldn’t remember her name. It was something like Katy or Chloe. Neither of those sounded right. Harry settled on calling her curly-haired girl, because he couldn’t think of anything else. The bottle didn’t land on him for the first few rounds, so he leaned back into the couch, allowing himself to relax next to Louis. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arm around Louis’ shoulders, but he settled instead for resting it on the back of the couch, behind Louis.

Harry’s eyes found Louis again soon, who he noticed had been unusually quiet. Louis clutched his beer bottle in one hand, the other hand was clenched in a fist and resting on his thigh. His cheeks were flushed pink, but the rest of his face was pale.

“You okay?” Harry took a moment to ask Louis while the others were laughing about one thing or another. Harry could see Louis’ face go red.

“I need another drink,” Louis answered, standing up abruptly and walking quickly away from the group. Harry blinked a couple times in surprise at the sudden departure. He considered following him, but just as he was about to stand up, he became suddenly aware that the group had gone quiet.

“Harry, it’s you,” Liam spoke finally. Harry probably had a look of confusion on his face. He looked down at the bottle. John’s girlfriend had been the one who had spun it. Thank goodness, Harry thought, he probably wouldn’t have to kiss her. John wouldn’t want him kissing his girlfriend, right?

But before Harry could laugh it off and ask her to spin again, she was crawling across the circle of people towards him. She was quite attractive; her long, pale-blue hair falling over her shoulders. Harry never thought he liked people with blue hair, but she was pretty. Harry didn’t know what to do; no useful thoughts were coming to his brain. He had one wild moment where he wanted to just burst into a fit of giggles, but he forced himself to hold it in.

So, before he knew it, the girl was on her knees in front of him, grasping the front of his shirt. Up close, Harry could see how her eye makeup had smudged throughout the night. He could see how here eyelashes were caked with mascara, and her lips looked a little too sticky from too much lip gloss. He could also see a hint of freckles under a heavy layer of foundation. He wondered why she would cover those up.

Harry genuinely did not want this, but she was pulling him towards her. Harry was surprised to see the look on her face was one of determination. It was like she knew he had no interest whatsoever, but she was not going to let him embarrass her.

So before he knew it, she was pressing her lips to his. It wasn’t a bad kiss, not at all. Her lips were actually quite soft, and clearly experienced. But it seemed to drag on, the girl opening her lips to invite his tongue in, but Harry did not want to do that, not with her. She giggled into his mouth, a strange, strangled sound that didn’t sound particularly happy or pleasurable.

And then it was done. She pulled away, let go of his shirt, and moved back to her place in the circle. Harry managed to smile through the round of applause that followed the kiss, several people letting out cat-calls. John did not look happy and was not clapping.

Harry let out a deep breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He leaned back again, feeling hot, but not a good heat, and feeling other things he couldn’t quite place. He didn’t want to have to do that again, but he knew it was his turn now. Fuck. He didn’t want to do this. Was there any way he could get out of it?

Just as Harry was contemplating this, he looked up to the doorway of the kitchen. Louis was standing there, clutching a beer bottle, his knuckles white.

“Lou,” Harry spoke softly, his own face flushing red now. Suddenly every other noise was white noise, and there was nothing in the room but the two of them. They stared at one another for a moment. Louis had an expression on his face that Harry couldn’t place.

“Harry, it’s your turn!” the girl Harry had just kissed was saying to him, loudly.

“U-um,” Harry stuttered. He turned back to the game. The people in the circle looked bored now. He hoped this game wouldn’t last much longer. Someone shoved the empty beer bottle towards Harry, and before he knew it, he was leaning down and grasping it with his fingertips, his wrist giving a quick movement to spin the bottle. It didn’t spin well on the carpet.

When the bottle stopped spinning, the tip of it pointed to Zayn’s girlfriend. Harry had to keep from rolling his eyes. This was the dumbest game he had ever played. His eyes flicked back to the doorway and saw Louis moving towards the group. Harry did not know if he was relieved or anxious that Louis was back. But Louis answered the thought quickly by making a spot for himself as far from Harry as he could, across from the couch between Liam and Zayn.

Harry felt a lump in his throat. Fuck. This wasn’t how this night was supposed to go.

The second kiss was over quickly and then Harry settled back onto the couch, praying he wouldn’t have to participate anymore. He desperately wanted to make eye contact with Louis, but Louis refused to look at him. Harry wondered if he could communicate telepathically with Louis. _I didn’t want to kiss her. I promise I didn’t. I wanted to kiss someone else. I wanted to kiss you. You know that right? I wanted to kiss you, Louis._

The game dragged on. Harry could feel himself sobering up. Everyone else was clutching a bottle or a plastic cup, but Harry was no longer interested in drinking. He needed this night to end.

Just as Harry was beginning to zone out, lost in his own thoughts about how he could make this up to Louis, he heard the group go silent again.

Oh shit, it had landed on him again, hadn’t it?

But when Harry looked up, the bottle wasn’t pointing to him. It was pointing to Louis.

“Ooooooh, Jenny gets to kiss Louis!” Liam chanted. A few people laughed. Harry rolled his eyes.

Well, now was Louis’ opportunity to get back at Harry. And Harry knew he would just have to deal with it.

It turned out Jenny was the very pretty blonde girl who had been flirting with Niall all night. Harry looked over at Louis and was met with a strange expression. Louis’ eyes were wide, his jaw clenched. Harry knew that face. He had only seen it a small handful of times, but it was unmistakable. Panic.

Suddenly nothing else mattered. Harry’s pulse quickened and his mind raced. Harry had expected him to look annoyed or even happily wasted. But definitely not panicked or afraid. Harry bit his lip, assessing the situation. Jenny looked happy. She was pushing herself up onto her knees and adjusting her skirt.

Louis hadn’t moved a muscle since the bottle had landed on him. Nobody else seemed to notice, or care. Harry watched as Jenny crawled over to Louis, her low-cut shirt showing off plenty of skin. For a moment it was like the whole room was holding its breath.

Louis still hadn’t moved. His hands gripped his knees, his face was white. Harry was sure Jenny would see the look of fear and stop what she was doing, but she seemed to be oblivious. She was inches away from Louis. Louis’ bottom lip was trembling. Harry didn’t know if he should do something, or even what that thing would be. Fuck, he didn’t want this, and clearly neither did Louis. Was there anything he could do? He could jump up and scream something maybe, or fake a seizure? He could probably tackle Jenny, but that seemed extreme. Harry’s eyes were fixed on Louis’, desperate for any sign or instruction.

Then, suddenly, Louis’ gaze flicked over to Harry, and their eyes met. Harry read his desperate expression quickly, and he understood. He acted without thinking.

“Stop!” Harry shouted, surprising even himself with the volume of his command. Jenny stopped moving instantly and turned her head to Harry. Everybody looked to him, and Louis took the opportunity to scoot his body several inches away from the circle.

“Why?” Jenny asked, her voice betraying annoyance and a lack of understanding. Harry’s face turned bright red.

Harry tried to stammer out an explanation that he didn’t have, but Louis spoke up, his voice wavering.

“I… I’ve never…” he spoke hesitantly. It was only a few words, but everyone understood. Harry closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

Louis had never been kissed.

There was a few seconds of silence, and in that moment, Harry wanted to cry. He had no idea why. It was irrational and over-dramatic, but if he wasn’t in a room full of people, he would have.

John spoke first. “You’ve really never kissed anyone, Tommo?” His voice was tinted with accusation. Louis’ expression was painful to see. Harry could almost feel his own heart breaking. He knew he needed to do something. He wanted to stand up, grasp Louis by the hands, and pull him out of there, away from the questioning stares. They could go outside and sit on the curb and breathe in the warm, fresh air.

“Piss off, John,” Louis answered. There wasn’t much else to say. Harry knew he was trying to sound assertive, but his voice was weak and trembling. Harry had rarely seen Louis like this. Normally he was the one who always had a sassy comeback or an interesting change of subject. He looked at Harry and their eyes met again, and Harry tried to communicate everything he could in just a look.

 _Who fucking cares?!_ Harry wanted to shout to the group. It was none of their fucking business.

“Does that mean you’re a virgin?” Niall asked. Harry clenched his jaw to prevent himself from punching Niall. It was an idiotic question, in Harry’s opinion, but at least his tone was not critical.

Louis’ cheeks were bright red now, his eyes betraying dread, and something like sadness underneath. Harry wondered if he was the only one who could see the sadness. He hoped he was.

Nobody let Louis speak. They already knew the answer.

“Dude, we have to change that,” Zayn’s friend, Danny, said as he laughed. “I know plenty of chicks who could help you out.” Louis and Danny had developed a friendship in the past year, but Harry could tell Louis hated him in that moment. It was not the right thing to say. Harry’s anger was growing by the second. Why did this even matter? Didn’t anyone have any manners? Since when did everyone care so much about who was a virgin or not? Harry couldn’t help but remember that he himself had only slept with one girl, one time. That made him practically a virgin as well.

“Whatever, I’m tired,” Jenny spoke finally, standing up and moving out of the circle of people. Harry could tell she was a little embarrassed too.

“I guess we should call it a night,” Liam said as he too stood up. Harry felt a wave of relief as everyone began to stand up and finish the last of their drinks. Louis was chewing on his bottom lip, barely paying attention to the people around him. He looked like he was in a daydream, but Harry knew he was simply too shocked to move.

Harry knew what he should do. He stood from the couch and walked the few steps over to Louis. He took Louis’ beer from him and grasped one of his hands, pulling him up from the floor.

“It’s alright, mate. Nobody wants their first kiss to be during bloody spin the bottle,” Liam offered to Louis, a sympathetic expression on his face. Louis pulled his hand away from Harry’s and turned towards the kitchen.

Harry wanted nothing more than to pull Louis into his chest and hug him and hug him until all Louis’ shame and anxiety was gone. He watched Louis walk away. He felt helpless. It was such a ridiculous situation, really. Nobody should care about Louis’ experience level, and Louis’ face had been one of shock and just humiliation. It made Harry angry to think about Louis feeling those things, especially because of something so trivial. Harry thought about how he himself was almost as inexperienced. He had only had a handful of kisses, and lost his virginity only a year ago with a girl who he barely had feelings for. If anything, the experience had solidified for him that he was actually much more interested in being with boys. And then he’d met Louis, and knew almost too quickly that he wanted to be with Louis; to be his boyfriend and get to kiss him and do all the other things that went along with having a boyfriend.

Just as Harry was about to follow Louis into the kitchen, John’s girlfriend grasped Harry’s arm.

“It was fun, Harry. See you soon,” She spoke as she leaned in and kissed Harry’s cheek.

“Bye,” Harry said quietly. He still couldn’t remember her name. He said goodbye to the people who remained as they slowly made their way out of the house.

“I guess we should call a cab now so we don’t have to wait too long,” Liam was saying to Zayn. He meant a cab for all five of them to get back to their hotel.

Niall came up to Harry after a moment. “You should probably help him out,” he joked, nodding his head towards the kitchen, towards Louis. Harry hated that comment, but he didn’t know why.

And then it was quiet in the house. Harry could hear people conversing outside, shouting to each other and laughing as they got in their cars to go home. He looked around the room. There were empty bottles and cups everywhere. John’s iPod was playing something slow and melancholy.

_What happens now?_

He wondered about Louis’ confession. How could he not have known that Louis had never been kissed? They lived together for goodness sake. Harry considered Louis his best friend; it seemed crazy that he did not know this. His thoughts strayed further. If Louis did want to kiss someone, at some point, would he want to kiss a boy, or a girl? Louis was never as open about these things as Harry was, but Harry wondered why he had never brought it up in private, when the two were alone together. He felt angry at himself for some reason. He should know these things about his best friend.

 

~*~

 

The cab ride back to the hotel was very quiet. It was unusual for the five teenage boys. Louis sat in the passenger seat while Harry, Niall, Liam, and Zayn squeezed into the back.

Harry and Louis were sharing a room. When the boys left the hotel’s elevator, Harry said a half-hearted goodbye to them as Louis walked ahead, ignoring the others.

Louis was in the bathroom by the time Harry got into the room. He sat on the edge of one of the beds. Their clothes were strewn about the room, on both beds and all over the floor. They would normally be laughing about something right now, or deciding what movie to order or what snacks to eat out of the mini bar. Instead, Harry stripped off his shirt and trousers and fumbled about in his suitcase for his pajama-bottoms.

The water shut off in the bathroom, and Louis walked out a moment later. He didn’t speak a word as he pulled back the bedcovers of the bed he had been using and climbed in. He lay down with his back facing Harry, pulled the covers over himself, and did not move again.

Harry brushed his teeth and washed his face. He walked back into the room to find Louis in the same position. Harry desperately wanted to talk to Louis. He wanted to tell him it was okay, that he was only 19 years old, that he had plenty of time for his first kiss. He wanted to tell Louis it just didn’t matter that he had never been kissed, and that it didn’t change anything.

Harry wondered if Louis cared about his thoughts on this.

He sat quietly on the edge of his bed. The light on the night table between their beds was the only light on. He wondered if he should just turn it off and go to sleep. But he wanted to comfort Louis. He needed to.

In the ten months they had known one another, Harry had never crawled into Louis’ bed with him. He hadn’t needed to. He had always loved Louis in the open. He had never wanted to hide it. There was no need for him to keep the tenderness a secret.

But something had changed. He knew they both needed it. Everything was different that night. It was like a new window had been opened, letting in a different light. Harry knew Louis had relented a little. That Louis might let him in, just a tiny bit.

Harry knew he had to be careful, with Louis rubbed so raw.

Harry stood up and walked hesitantly to Louis’ bed. Louis was curled up on the far side, unmoving, but his breathing was not yet slow and deep enough to indicate sleep.

He crawled across the mattress over to Louis. Louis turned his head.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked with halted breath.

“Just being with you,” Harry replied confidently. He could barely see Louis’ face in the dim light, but he did not care anymore.

Harry placed a pillow against the bed’s headboard and slipped a hand between Louis’ shoulder and the mattress and lifted him up just slightly. Harry leaned back against the pillow and pulled Louis into his chest. Louis was quiet and pliant, his expression weary and maybe a bit anxious, but soft. He rolled over to face Harry.

Harry was on his back, sitting up a little against the pillow. Louis rolled so he was leaning against Harry, and rested his chin on Harry’s chest. Their eyes met. Louis’ eyes were watery. Harry wasn’t sure if he had been crying earlier, or if he’d just begun to.

There wasn’t much to say. Harry wrapped one arm around Louis’ back, and the other moved to stroke Louis’ hair. They were quiet. Harry tenderly carded his fingers through Louis’ soft hair. Louis kept his eyes open. He looked anxious. Harry could feel Louis’ heart beating fast. Louis put a hand on Harry’s side, and he could feel Louis’ hand trembling. He seemed unsure of how to proceed. Harry knew his secret now; it was out in the open to deal with. He seemed to be waiting for Harry to react.

“It’s okay,” Harry said softly. They looked at each other. It was not an uncomfortable silence, but was still charged with things unsaid.

After a long while, Louis turned his head so he was resting the side of his face on Harry’s chest. Harry continued to pet his hair.

After a long time, Louis’ breathing became more even, his heart rate slowing.

Harry felt his eyes closing. He was drifting to sleep, but for some reason he wanted to stay awake. He forced his eyes to open. He moved his hand from Louis’ back to slip under his tee shirt. He rubbed up and down the warm skin of Louis’ back.

Harry took a deep, slow breath, and then let it out. A few strands of Louis’ hair quivered as Harry’s breath passed over them. Harry’s eyes closed again. Louis was warm on top of him, one leg draped over Harry’s legs, his head on Harry’s chest, torso leaning against and atop Harry’s. Harry could feel himself drifting off, even as one thumb continued to rub the small of Louis’ back.

“Harry?” Louis whispered so softly that for a moment Harry thought he dreamt it. His eyes snapped open.

“Yes, Louis?” he replied, his own voice barely above a whisper. Louis did not continue right away. Harry’s other hand was resting on Louis’ head. He moved his hand and tenderly took hold of Louis’ earlobe with his thumb and index finger. He pulled very gently, letting his fingers slide over the soft skin. He repeated the action a few times. He knew how Louis loved his touch.

“Do you… do you really want to be with me?” Louis asked quietly, his voice high and soft.

“Yes,” Harry did not hesitate. He felt Louis relax even more into his chest, felt Louis take a deep breath and let it slowly out. It seemed impossible that Louis still did not know for sure, but he reminded himself that Louis was like that. He didn’t believe someone could love him like Harry did. He smiled a little and said it again.

But Harry knew, whether by instinct or Harry’s own determination over the past ten months to learn everything he could about this boy, that Louis had another question swimming in his mind.

_Why?_

Harry promised himself he would remind Louis why he loved him, why he wanted to be with him, every day of their lives if he could. Louis needed to know. Nothing else mattered more.

“Louis?” Harry asked.

“Mmm?”

“I’ll be with you for the rest of our lives, if you will let me.”

 

~*~

 

Harry let the hot water spray into his face. It was actually a little too hot, scalding his skin, but he needed the distraction. He would rather feel the pain of the hot water than all the other things he had woken up feeling.

For the first time, he had woken with Louis still in his bed. They hadn’t moved all night. Louis was still laying on Harry’s chest, sleeping soundly.

Harry wondered if Louis would wake hung-over. He had ordered breakfast for them in case Louis needed some food in his stomach.

He knew he couldn’t stay in the shower forever. Harry took a deep breath, pulling in the steamy air. It helped to clear his head a little. He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, hoping Louis would still be in the room.

Harry wrapped a towel around his waist and emerged into the bedroom, not sure what he would find. Had last night been too much for Louis? Harry had never been quite so blunt before, Louis never quite so vulnerable.

To Harry’s relief, Louis was still lying in the bed they had shared. Harry strode over to him as Louis rolled over to face him.

“Morning,” Harry said softly. He couldn’t keep the smile from his face. Louis looked so soft and relaxed. Harry prayed he had not closed himself off again, and built his walls back up.

“G’morning,” Louis replied, returning the gentle smile. Harry could see Louis was looking at his body, almost naked except for the towel wrapped low around his hips. Louis’ eyes trailed downwards to where the skin ended and the towel began. Harry smiled and bit his lip, standing still for a moment, choosing to let Louis look as much as he wanted.

“I ordered breakfast,” Harry said softly after a moment as he stepped forward and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Okay,” Louis replied quietly. Harry wasn’t sure if Louis had even heard what he’d said. His eyes were still on Harry. His expression was relaxed, completely free of any worry or fear. It was the way Harry wanted to see Louis all the time. But at least he was feeling this way here and now, while they were alone together.

“I guess I should get dressed before the breakfast comes,” Harry pondered aloud after a moment of quiet.

“You don’t have to if… if you don’t want to,” Louis replied. Even his voice sounded different, softer. Harry smiled and turned his head to look at Louis. Louis’ gaze flicked up to meet Harry’s and his cheeks turned pink.

“Like what you see?” Harry teased gently, and then worried it was too much. Now was not the time for dumb jokes, and he would not forgive himself if Louis retreated back into himself because of Harry’s idiocy.

But Louis smiled, and bit his bottom lip. His cheeks were pink but he still kept his eyes on Harry’s. Harry wondered what he could do to hold the space like it was. It felt frail and fleeting. Harry never wanted it to end.

He pushed himself further across the mattress to Louis. Louis watched him move.

Harry felt bold. He wanted Louis to have no doubts. He wanted Louis to know, to know that Harry was his, if he wanted him.

He lay down on his side next to Louis. They were facing one another, close enough to touch. In that moment, Harry would have done anything. He would have let Louis do anything. Harry knew this kind of vulnerability would have scared another person, but it did not scare him.

Louis’ eyes raked across Harry’s collarbones, and then down to his chest and across his abdomen. The towel still covered Harry, but he would have removed if it Louis wanted.

“You can have it. You can have me. You can have all of me,” Harry whispered as he brought a hand up to cup Louis’ cheek.

“Kiss me?” Louis requested.

Harry did not have to be asked twice. He moved his body to close the gap between them, his face just in front of Louis’ face. Harry took Louis’ hand and placed it on his waist.

He couldn’t help but smile. Louis smiled back and let out a breath. Harry licked his lips, and Louis followed Harry’s lead and did the same. Harry leaned in the rest of the way, opened his mouth just a bit, saw Louis close his eyes, closed his own eyes, and kissed Louis. It was soft and hard at the same time. Hot, gentle, and perfect. He felt the hand on his waist tighten its grip.

It lasted just a moment before Harry pulled back, just an inch.

“Don’t stop,” Louis said, his eyes still closed. Harry smiled and kissed Louis again, harder this time. Their lips fit together flawlessly, and moved in perfect rhythm. Harry opened his mouth a little more, making the kiss sloppier, giving it more heat. He could feel Louis giving in to it, gripping him tighter, keeping pace with Harry’s vigor. Louis opened his mouth for Harry’s tongue. It was more than Harry could ever have imagined.

He felt Louis lean into him, wanting more and more, finally unabashed in his desire. Harry suddenly knew. He knew that Louis had wanted this for a long time, yearned for it as much as Harry had. It made Harry sad and happy at the same time. Why had he not expressed his feelings for Harry? Why had they waited this long?

Harry pulled away. “First kiss,” he spoke softly. Louis’ cheeks went pink.

“I didn’t… I…” Louis tried to explain himself, a look of worry returning to his face. “I didn’t mean to tell you like that.” Harry brought a hand up to cup Louis’ jaw, pulling him even closer.

“I don’t care,” Harry spoke honestly, “I don’t care at all. You’re so wonderful, Louis. You’re so perfect. I just want to be with you, please, I just want you.” He was babbling, almost begging, but he didn’t care. He would do anything to hold onto this.

Louis smiled, his cheeks even pinker. “I’m not perfect,” he replied quietly.

“Pretty close,” Harry whispered, his mouth right against Louis’. Louis opened his mouth and took in a breath as if to say more, but he did not. It was like he felt compelled to explain more, or tell more, but Harry didn’t need it. Not right then. There was also such a longing in his eyes, and Harry felt it too. After this long, it was finally the beginning.

Instead, Louis leaned in and Harry met him halfway, pressing their lips together, opening their mouths, drinking the other in.

There would be time for all those things later. For now, Harry knew he needed to fulfill that longing, to drink Louis in as much as he could while he was right there, in front of him, asking for it.

 

~*~

 

Their dreamy morning had stretched on and on, even after breakfast they returned to the bed, the craving still not satisfied. They had not gone beyond kisses and gentle touches, exploring each other and taking in as much as they could with their hands and lips. There was a desperation to it, both a little afraid that something this special could not last long. But the uncertainty had given it something unique. They were honest. They did not hold back, except to save the other possibilities, the other first times. They both knew they wanted to go further. It was no longer a question to either of them.

Perhaps being in a new place had helped as well. Away from home, they were freer to explore new sides of themselves. Their lives were so uncertain. They were sitting on the edge of something so huge.

“What if we become famous?” Louis had asked him.

“What if?” Harry had replied. Louis hadn’t continued. Harry had known the question that was on his lips, but he needed Louis to say it aloud so that he could answer _yes, yes, yes, my answer is, and always will be, yes._

He looked at Louis, pushing him to continue.

“Will you still love me?” Louis had asked, fear and longing in his voice.

“Remember what I told you last night?” Harry replied, his expression serious. He needed Louis to know it, to understand it in his soul.

Louis smiled. “For the rest of our lives, if I’ll let you.”

 

~*~

 

They finally had some time, and they took every moment they could. Los Angeles was easier. England was so far away, and so were their families. It was like they could reinvent themselves, start a new life. It was a more relaxing place, with the beach so close, and the weather always so perfect. The boys were busy; the process of finishing their last album was involved. But in their free time, Louis and Harry explored their relationship as they got to know a new part of themselves and a new type of life they could have. Something really big was happening, they knew it even then. Everything was changing, in every possible way.

“Can you imagine going to a world tour with _our_ band,” Louis asked as he twirled a piece of Harry’s hair with one finger. His voice was happy and confident. It was now just a matter of when.

But it still felt like a dream to both of them. “The best part is that we get to experience it all together,” Harry added. He couldn’t see Louis’ face, but he knew he was smiling.

“That is the best part,” Louis agreed with a smile. Harry was so certain about his feeling for Louis that these comments were common for him to make, and Louis liked it. They hadn’t talked as much in the past few weeks about the details of what they were doing. They had spent most of that time catching up on everything they _hadn’t_ done, on everything Harry had been hoping and waiting for. It all included lots and lots of kissing and cuddling and holding hands under the dinner table. They would stare at each other constantly, catch one another’s eyes across a room, and both start giggling.

Naturally, people were beginning to see it. It had still been a question before, to others, but now it was more in the open. Harry and Louis were affectionate. They had always been close, but now it was obvious. And now there was so much more to hide, but they barely bothered. They were teenagers, and could not be asked to care.

The situation did not come without compromise, or even punishment in some cases. Louis was to spend time with a girl. They would go on a few outings and pretend to be dating. Harry had been dealing with a similar situation. But they both knew how the other boy felt now. There were no more secrets between them, and in an odd way, Harry felt more free. Their band mates knew, and their families knew, for the most part. They didn’t need to hide, in private, and that was what mattered.

Harry sat on the floor of their hotel room, his back to the large bed. He had been packing, as they were finally headed back to England within a few days. But Louis was on the bed behind him, which proved to be a distraction.

“I don’t want to leave LA,” Louis said as he gently massaged Harry’s scalp and pulled his fingers through Harry’s curly hair. He was lying on his stomach, feet up by the pillows and leaning his elbows on the edge of the mattress, with Harry right in front of him on the floor.

“I know, it’s such a cool city. I would live here someday,” Harry replied softly.

“I knew you would say that,” Louis said as he gave a laugh.

Harry smiled and closed his eyes. Louis’ hands felt amazing carding through his hair.

“But wouldn’t you miss England?” Louis spoke, softer now. Harry had thought about this a lot, even more now that him and Louis were doing this thing.

“We would fly back and forth, as much as we wanted or needed,” Harry replied. Louis’ hands slowed. ‘We’ was a big thing to say. Even though it already seemed obvious to both of them, neither had actually said it out loud like that yet. Louis did not reply, so Harry continued, “I guess it depends on how famous we get.”

Louis grinned. He knew what he wanted, what he had found himself already beginning to plan on, and it was exactly what Harry was expressing. He wanted a life with Harry, touring with their band, traveling across the world together, and living in both England and the States. If they wanted fame, if they wanted to be connected, they’d have to be in LA for at least a few months of the year.

“That sounds like the life,” Louis said, like he hoped it would come true but was so uncertain. He began again to play with Harry’s hair.

“We can learn to surf, and we can get a motorcycle to drive around, ‘cuz it’s always so warm here,” Harry mused.

“And you can have your stupid frozen Greek yogurt all the time,” Louis joked. Harry laughed with him and turned his head to look at Louis.

“And you can have your In-n-out Burger,” Harry laughed as he moved his face towards Louis’ face.

“Promise?” Louis asked, raising his eyebrows at Harry. Harry nudged his nose against Louis’ nose, and Louis opened his mouth, breathing in and waiting for Harry to close the little distance between them.

“We’ll only eat healthy on week days,” Harry replied, unable to keep the grin from stretching across his face.

“But no kale,” Louis bargained, smiling and trying to learn forward more, wanting to make contact, craving Harry’s lips.

“Kale sometimes,” Harry replied, keeping his mouth at just enough of a distance that Louis couldn’t get to him without falling forward off the bed. “And avocado. You have to eat avocado if you’re a true Californian.”

“I’ll have avocado on my burgers,” Louis replied quickly, laughing said. He just needed to be a pest, but Harry loved it.

“Fast food on weekends then,” Harry compromised, pushing his face back towards Louis and giving him a kiss.

“And veggies on week days, I can live with that,” Louis agreed, leaning just a little further off the mattress to keep his lips near Harry’s. Harry opened his mouth and nudged against Louis’ lips, and Louis smiled against them.

“It’s a deal,” Harry replied, finally moving forward the last centimeter and catching Louis’ lips in a heated kiss. They moved together for a moment, using their tongues, licking into each other, messily taking each other in.

Harry leaned forward as Louis moved back onto the mattress. Harry kneeled in front of Louis, who was on all fours on the edge of the bed, neither wanting to disconnect their lips. They were familiar with each other already, familiar with the cues to speed up or slow down, give more, harder. Louis breathed deep as Harry licked across his lips and into his mouth. He still pushed forward, forcing Louis to change his position until he was sitting on the edge of the mattress, Harry between his legs. Harry clutched the front of Louis’ shirt and pulled him even closer.

Louis had one hand in Harry’s hair and the other gripped his bicep, holding tightly, waiting to see what Harry would do.

Already so eager, Harry moved his hands to Louis’ waist, resting them on the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Wanna make you feel so good,” Harry breathed into Louis’ mouth as they kissed.

Louis just nodded vigorously. He was happy with Harry taking the lead. This stuff still made him nervous; it was all so new. He put his hands on Harry’s shoulders and gripped tightly.

“You’re so sexy baby, makes me so hot,” Harry mumbled as their kisses became more feverish. He let his fingers move under the bottom of Louis’ shirt and find the hot skin. He grabbed Louis’ hips fully, kneading with his thumbs. Louis scooted his body even closer to Harry, straddling Harry’s waist and leaning down just a little so their lips could still stay attached.

Harry’s words were encouraging, his grip on Louis lustful but gentle. They wanted everything at once, the passion in their kisses said that. They kissed and kissed, Harry rubbing Louis’ hips, Louis’ hands wandering everywhere, finding Harry’s hair, pulling at his shirt, moving lower down his back to slip his fingertips under the waistband of Harry’s pants.

Harry moaned into Louis’ mouth as their bodies moved against one another, “Mmmm, god, you’re perfect, Lou,” Harry praised Louis as one hand moved further down, along the outside of Louis’ pants and hovered above his crotch. Before he could do more, Louis bucked his hips up just slightly, pushing himself against Harry’s hand.

Harry took the cue and closed the distance between them, rubbing his palm across Louis’ crotch, happy to find he was already getting hard.

He rubbed at Louis as they kissed, Louis responding by pushing into him, squeezing Harry’s hips between his legs, asking for more and more. Louis panted against Harry’s mouth and Harry kissed his cheek and jaw and neck, mouthing at him as he rubbed his hardness. He moved his hand faster and faster. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry to pull him closer still. Harry wrapped his hand around Louis’ dick, over his pants, and tugged several times. Louis moaned and whined, holding Harry close and gripping him tight.

“More, more,” Louis chanted softly. Harry pulled his hand away and began to bite and such at Louis’ mouth. He grasped the waistband of Louis’ pants and pulled. Louis lifted himself up onto his feet so Harry could pull off his pants, and then Harry grasped his hip and pushed him back down onto the bed.

Harry grasped Louis’ legs and pulled him forward on the bed so he was right in front of Harry’s face.

“This okay?” Harry had to make sure, though he hoped desperately that it was.

“Yes, yes,” Louis answered quickly, sounding as breathless as Harry felt.

He took Louis into his mouth without hesitation. Louis gasped as Harry sucked on the sensitive tip of his cock, it felt amazing. Harry was not experienced at this, not in the least, but the reaction he was getting from Louis told him he was doing the right thing. He sucked a little harder and Louis moaned, grasping the sheets on either side of himself. Harry moved his hands and grasped Louis thighs. He ran his hands up and down, kneading the muscle and soft skin as he sucked a little more of Louis into his mouth. He bobbed his head and experimented with suction, hollowing his cheeks and sucking on Louis’ tip. Louis moaned again and threw his head back onto the bed, his mouth opening, his breaths fast and deep.

Gripping Louis’ thighs hard, Harry pushed his head all the way down and took all of Louis into his mouth. Louis’ moans and whines pushed him further, made him move faster. He let his tongue slide up and down Louis’ length as he bobbed his head, occasionally pulling off and giving shorter licks to the tip, which made Louis’ knuckles go white where his hands were gripping the sheets. He seemed to be trying not to shout or cry out.

Harry sucked harder and moved his head faster, holding onto Louis’ thighs to steady himself as much and holding Louis to keep from squirming too much. He was overwhelmed and in control at the same time. He pulled off Louis and licked a long stripe with the flat of his tongue up Louis’ shaft. Here repeated the action again and again until he had driven Louis to the very edge. He sucked the tip into this mouth once again and Louis gasped. Louis brought a hand to Harry’s hair, gripping him tight as if to say he was close. Harry was relentless, his whole mouth around the tip of Louis’ cock.

“F-fuck, Harry, I’m…” Louis tried, and Harry understood. He pulled his mouth off and moved both hands to finish him off. He tugged at Louis another few times and then Louis was coming, letting out a high moan as he released into Harry’s hand and onto his lips.

He didn’t take his hands off Louis until Louis had relaxed back onto the couch, boneless and pliant. He breathed fast and deep, his mouth open. Harry rubbed Louis’ thighs again, more tender now. He let his thumbs stroke the soft skin, and listened to Louis breathe. After a moment, he licked the stickiness of his lips and kissed the inside of Louis’ thighs. He kissed over and over, delivering a trail of tender kisses along one thigh, and then to the other.

“Harry,” Louis whispered after a moment. Harry pulled away and moved so he was on top of the mattress too now, next to Louis. He let a hand wander across Louis’ belly. Louis turned so he was facing Harry, his cheeks pink. Harry pulled him in close, wrapping an arm around Louis’ back. Their legs tangled together, Harry slotting his knee between Louis’ legs. They kissed again, full and deep and slower now.

After a moment, Louis pulled away. “I guess I should get cleaned up,” he said, biting his bottom lip and smiling. Harry giggled.

“A little longer,” Harry whispered back. He nibbled the other side of Louis’ lip and they both laughed. Louis made a happy, consenting sound and let Harry kiss him and bite at his lips.

Harry’s heart fluttered. Everything about that moment was perfect.

 

~*~

 

Back in London, the pace picked up quick. There were meetings about the album and appearances and the new single was being perfected. It would be mere weeks before they put their first song out to the world, and everything would progress from there. It was nice to be back in London, and being busy was not a bad thing. Being in their home in London, finally with more privacy, allowed them to explore their relationship and discover new things. Even if they couldn’t steal time together during the day, they had almost every night together. They lived alone, for the first time in their lives, and it was almost overwhelming. They had so much time and so much privacy, and they were so open with one another, that things progressed very quickly. They were discovering their lives together.

But there were also nerves. They had talked many times about where they were going and what they wanted. Harry was the one who was more willing to just push through the nerves and keep their relationship escalating at a steady pace. Louis had a more difficult time doing so. It was not that he didn’t want to, but Louis was easily worried by the fact that he was so inexperienced. Harry had told him time and time again that it didn’t matter, and that anything they did together would be amazing just because it was the two of them. And Harry was itching for more; he just needed to make sure that they would have plenty of time, that everything was perfect and right.

And so that was why Harry found himself at Zayn’s flat, watching bad television with him and sitting out on the porch with him. The summer was already ending, the nighttime air felt cool on their skin.

“So tell me again why you’re sitting here with me, getting smoke blown in your face, instead of enjoying time with your boyfriend?” Zayn questioned him.

 _Boyfriend_. Harry loved the word, and loved it when other people used it to refer to them. Zayn took a drag of his cigarette.

“Because my boyfriend is at home, sleeping,” Harry responded, trying to avoid giving any real answer.

Zayn stayed silent. Harry knew it was because he was expecting a better answer.

“And I knew you’d be awake,” Harry added. Zayn chuckled, smoke coming out of his mouth and nostrils.

“Well you can definitely count on me for a late-night talk.” Harry knew what he meant.

“It’s sort of complicated, I guess,” Harry began tentatively. Zayn nodded but did not speak. Harry tried to think of how to broach the subject. “The thing is, I know he _wants_ to… to… take the relationship to the next level….” Zayn gave a laugh again. Harry wasn’t sure why he was being shy. This was Zayn. He could talk to his boys about anything.

“It’s called sex,” Zayn replied dryly.

“Well, yea,” Harry replied. They were silent for a moment. Harry watched Zayn take a long drag of his cigarette, and then take it between two fingers and flick off the ash from the tip.

Finally Zayn seemed to grow tired of beating around the bush. “So you’re horny and Louis is nervous.” It was Harry’s turn to laugh, rolling his eyes at Zayn’s brusqueness.

“Well, yea… I guess that pretty much sums it up,” Harry replied.

“Maybe he should smoke some weed before you fool around. He’ll be a lot calmer,” Zayn suggested. Harry barked a quick laugh, unsure if he was serious or not. Zayn looked at over at Harry for the first time in several minutes. “It can be hot,” he added with a shrug.

While Harry was contemplating this idea, Zayn finished his cigarette. He stubbed it out in his little ashtray that sat on the railing of the deck. “I’ll give you one of my pre-rolls and you can think about it.”

Harry wondered if he was supposed to know what that meant. “A joint,” Zayn explained when he saw Harry’s look of confusion.

They sat in silence for another moment, each boy lost in thought. Finally, Zayn cleared his throat.

“A lot of people are going to be very unhappy about you two,” Zayn added. Harry was taken aback by his words. He turned to look at Zayn.

“It could be fine,” Harry replied, his brows knit with confusion, though he knew Zayn was probably right.

“It won’t be,” Zayn answered shortly. Harry was put off by his bluntness. He didn’t want to hear these things, not yet. Zayn continued, “They’ll try to fit you into your mold. To hide you. And if they can’t hide it, then they’ll punish you. They will try to force you apart, so you better agree now on what you two have together, if you’re going to even try to make it through.”

Harry knew there was truth to Zayn’s words, but he was not ready to face it. He turned from Zayn and did not reply. They still had time, Harry told himself. For now, they could be themselves. For now, they could be reckless.

 

~*~

 

And reckless they were. They could not help replying to fans on Twitter who were curious about the two of them. They could never keep their hands off one another, even in public. As far as they were concerned, the relationship was full steam ahead.

Which was why, one night when Louis and Harry were home at the flat they shared in London, with nothing to do the next day, Harry decided to pull out the joint that Zayn had given him. It had been a few weeks since Harry’s conversation with Zayn, and what he’d said was still weighing heavy on Harry. They had already been told once that they needed to tone it down on Twitter. They of course had not listened.

“Baaaabe?” Harry drawled as he walked into the living room where Louis was watching television, carrying two mugs of steaming hot tea.

“Hmm?” Louis hummed as he turned towards Harry, smiling when he saw the tea.

“I had an idea,” Harry began, handing Louis one of the mugs.

“Oh no,” Louis joked, grinning up at his boyfriend.

“No, you’ll like it,” Harry laughed, “But we have to go upstairs.”

“Okay?” Louis replied tentatively. Harry grasped his free hand and pulled him up off the couch.

The two boys walked up the stairs of their shared home and into their bedroom. Louis went to sit on the bed while Harry rifled around in one of his dresser drawers.

“Found it!” he declared triumphantly as he pulled a small plastic bag out of the drawer. He tossed it over to Louis who caught it bag gracefully in one hand.

“A joint?” Louis said to Harry, raising his eyebrows. Harry’s grin stretched across his whole face.

“Zayn suggested it,” Harry explained. Louis rolled his eyes. They had only smoked a small handful of times, but Louis could recall enjoying it. It calmed his mind, made him feel relaxed and content. If he admitted it to himself, it was probably exactly what he needed.

Before he could object or say anything at all, Harry was striding over to the window and opening it wide. Typical Harry, Louis thought, he doesn’t want the smell of smoke in their new home. Harry had a lighter in one hand as he joined Louis on the bed. Louis wondered where Harry had gotten it as he took the joint from Louis.

“If you’re not up for it, we don’t have to do it,” Harry offered, seeing the hesitation on Louis’ face.

“No, let’s do it.”

Harry smiled that frog-face smile once again, and Louis couldn’t help but laugh. Anything that made Harry this excited was something he couldn’t say no to.

“You first,” Louis spoke as Harry pulled the joint out of the bag. Harry brought it to his lips, flicked the lighter and brought the small flame to the tip of the joint. It crackled as it lit, and Harry inhaled, pulling the acrid smoke into his lungs.

He tossed the lighter onto the bed and grasped Louis’ hand with his free one.

“Harry, what are you doing?” Louis said through a giggle as he let Harry pull him into his lap. Louis hooked his legs around Harry’s waist, his bum resting on Harry’s crossed legs. Harry grasped the front of Louis’ shirt and pulled him in. They opened their mouths to one another, Harry exhaling as Louis inhaled.

Louis coughed, spraying Harry’s face with saliva, and they both broke into a fit of giggles.

“Again,” Louis asked when they had calmed down. Harry took another hit of the weed, held it in, and then pressed his mouth to Louis’, harder this time.

They repeated this several times, exchanging plenty of kisses in between. They couldn’t stop giggling, Louis pressing down and wiggling against Harry’s crotch. Harry was surprised how fast he got hard from this, but figured it was probably the weed.

When the joint was done, Harry set it aside so he could put both hands on his boyfriend. He grasped Louis under his arms, pulling him even closer. They attached their mouths, feverishly now, moving against one another in a familiar rhythm. Harry pulled his shirt of; he was feeling to hot now. Louis followed.

It did not take long before they were both hard. Louis rubbed his bum against Harry’s crotch, but had no relief for his own arousal. Harry understood, and took initiative, unzipping Louis’ jeans and pulling him out. He began to rub at Louis, up and down, jerking him off as Louis pressed down into Harry.

It wasn’t long before Harry needed more relief. He pushed Louis back and unzipped his own pants, pulling his cock out, already to full hardness. Louis moved back against Harry and Harry grasped the two of them in one hand, jerking them off together.

“Fuck, Harry,” Louis moaned as Harry picked up the pace of his hand movements. They were both so close.

“I know,” Harry replied. He moved his lips to Louis’ neck, sucking and biting as Louis jerked his hips upwards, seeking even more.

They came at almost the same time, spilling between their chests and into Harry’s hand.

“Fuck, I need more,” Louis exclaimed as Harry pulled his hand away. Harry felt the same. He grasped Louis around his waist and turned them around, Louis landing on his back on the bed, his legs still around Harry’s waist. Harry quickly shucked off his trousers and underpants, and then made to take off Louis’ as well, but he paused, his hands on the waistband of Louis’ pants.

“Can I?” he asked. Louis nodded quickly, and Harry wasted no time, pulling off the last of Louis’ clothes, watching his still-hard cock spring free.

“You’re so sexy, Lou. What did I ever do to deserve a boyfriend as gorgeous as you?” Harry exclaimed, feasting his eyes on Louis’ body. He knew it was exactly what Louis would need right now.

“Cheesy,” Louis spoke softly, though his cheeks were bright red. Harry smiled as he leaned forward atop Louis. Their mouths found one another again, but they moved slower now. They were still as eager, but both knew they needed to take this one step at a time.

As they kissed, they rubbed against one another, grinding their hips. Louis was surprised at how relaxed he felt, knowing what Harry had in mind. But he felt ready, and he knew there was nobody he would want to do this with more than Harry. So when he felt Harry’s hand move down between his legs, he did not flinch or pull away.

Harry leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube he had purchased specifically for this occasion. Louis watched him coat two fingers with the clear stuff. It was more of a liquid than Louis would have expected. He rested his head back on the pillow and let Harry take the lead.

Harry grasped Louis’ leg and pushed it upwards so it was bent at the knee, Louis’ foot resting on the mattress. He kissed Louis again, full and slow and deep. Louis was lost in the kiss and startled a little when he felt Harry’s fingers down there, rubbing gently against his rim.

“Fuck,” he exclaimed softly, causing Harry to chuckle.

“This okay?” he asked, making sure to make eye contact so he could read the expression on Louis’ face.

“Yes, yea it’s okay,” Louis answered quickly. It felt strange, not quite pleasurable yet, but not unpleasant.

“Just tell me to stop or slow down if you need me to,” Harry assured Louis, kissing the corner of his lips and across his jaw. Louis nodded.

It felt strange when Harry pushed one slick finger inside Louis, and Louis gasped. But Harry did not relent. He moved his finger in and out, going deeper each time.

He took his time, moving slowly in and out, as they kissed. Harry added a second finger and Louis cried out with pleasure as Harry his that sweet spot inside Louis.

“God. I didn’t know it’d feel like that,” Louis said, panting, a smile on his face as he looked up at Harry.

“Feels amazing,” Harry agreed, his fingers still moving inside Louis.

They continued like this for a while, Harry allowing Louis to adjust to the stretch. He curled his fingers a few times, touching that spot to keep Louis aroused.

“You ready?” Harry asked finally. Louis’ cheeks flushed pink, but he nodded. “You sure?” Harry needed to know that Louis was fully ready.

“Yes, yes I’m ready,” Louis replied impatiently. Although he was nervous, he was too aroused to go back now.  
Harry removed his fingers and adjusted his body so his cock was between Louis’ cheeks. He thrusted a few times, building up just a little more pleasure. He felt the tip of his cock catch on Louis’ rim and Louis inhaled sharply. Harry took hold of himself and angled towards Louis’ entrance. He pushed just the tip past Louis’ entrance and Louis squeezed his eyes shut. Harry kissed Louis to calm him and Louis opened his eyes, letting out a breath through his nose.

“Don’t forget to breath, babe,” Harry said softly against Louis’ lips. Louis nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

Harry pushed in, slowly, keeping his eyes on Louis. He pulled out before going all the way back in. They found a good rhythm, Harry still moving slowly so Louis could adjust.

When Louis began to let out little noises of pleasure, Harry knew he could push all the way in. He did so slowly, and groaned when he bottomed out.

“F-fuck, Harry, you’re big,” Louis panted. Harry just laughed, and picked up his pace a little. Louis wrapped his arms and legs around Harry, holding on tight as Harry snapped his hips up into Louis over and over.

They found an easy rhythm, Louis bucking up his hips to match Harry’s thrusts. They were almost to climax already.

“I’m gonna come,” Louis panted after a few minutes, and Harry picked up his pace again, rocking his hips into Louis with more vigor. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ back and one hand gripped his shoulders while the other held his low back, holding him up and pulling Louis into himself as he thrust. Louis’ body rocked forward and back as Harry pushed him to climax.

“Come on, come for me, babe,” Harry answered.

“Just need a little more,” Louis replied, moving his hand down to grasp himself. He tugged on himself a few times and was coming almost instantly, releasing onto his chest between their sweaty bodies.

Harry pulled out, and Louis moaned at the loss of friction. Harry pulled at himself a few times and was coming a moment later onto Louis’ hips and thighs.

They collapsed back onto the bed, Harry on top of Louis, catching their breaths. After a moment, Harry leaned his head up and began to kiss Louis. He kissed his lips, his nose, his cheeks. He kiss he kissed along his jaw to his ear and sucked at his earlobe. He nosed Louis’ eyelashes and kissed his closed eyelids. Louis held him tight as Harry worshipped him.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Harry whispered. Louis giggled and rolled his eyes. “I mean it,” Harry said as he kissed either side of Louis’ nose. “I feel like I waited forever to have you.”

Louis blushed. “Was it worth the wait?”

“God, yes,” Harry breathed, “I would have waited my whole life for you.” He gently rolled off Louis, but stayed pressed to his side.

Louis hummed and closed his eyes. “I would have too,” he spoke finally. He held onto Harry still, his limbs wrapped around him. Harry pressed his face into Louis’ neck. He still craved Louis, even though they were holding each other tight. Now that he had him, he would not let go. He wanted more and more, forever, for as long as Louis would give.

Harry let his mind wander. He thought about where they would go after this, where life would take them. He thought about his dream, about moving to Los Angeles, and couldn’t help but smile. He would be doing that with Louis, if that’s what they wanted. He turned his face to Louis, who had his eyes closed, his face soft and still. He knew he didn’t have to yearn anymore. He could have all of it.


End file.
